The Proust Questionnaire

Adeline Ainsworth
Journalism
Ms. Parker

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Perfect happiness is only possible when we find ourselves completely satisfied with our circumstances or situation. It doesnt mean that we have all the love we may need, or perhaps all the wealth we could ask for, but what satisfies our personal and unique situation that comes with being human. I feel as though I'm one of those lucky people, who early on realized that i dont need anything else but my loved ones to be perfectly happy. As long as Ive got my loved ones and a new day, I'll do great. That's my idea of perfect happiness.

2. What is your greatest fear?

I thrive on fear most of the time. I love the idea of being scared because it gives me so much of a rush that I cant help riding the scariest rides at darien lake. Or looking for the creepiest films on netflix. My friends describe me as fearless, and a year ago it would have been very difficult to answer this question. luckily I came to this epiphany about a month ago when I was sitting alone on a playground and smoking a cigarette. It was summer and two of my best friends had moved away. I sat there thinking of what i was doing, and how new and scary the silence around me was. To be completely alone with my thoughts was different. For once i felt like time was moving slowly and I wasn't living right in the moment. My boyfriend had cheated on me, and at this time without two of my closest friends i felt helpless. I had always had so many friends and often times I would ditch them in favor of what just happened. I had started to realize what was scaring me and hurting me the most was the idea of being alone. Lonlieness is the worst feeling Ive felt. I feel it off and on sometimes even when i do have plenty of friends, I cant help feeling in limbo and in battle with myself.

3.What is your greatest extravagance?

I would have to say that my greatest extravagance is the amount of money i spend on clothing, or making myself look nice. I have a hard time excepting this, but I have an unhealthy addiction to clothes. I'm the type of girl who recycles, who cleans up after myself and cares about things going on outside of my own life. But, I often overspend on having the "hottest' look. Its not something I'm proud of. Mostly because It seems Im never satisfied and I feel very wasteful.

4.What is your current state of mind?

At the moment I'm feeling worried and i have a sort of anticipating state of mind. When I think about it to much I feel like I'm waiting around for a mistake or even disaster to happen.

5.What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

If i had to pick a virtue of the seven that could be overrated I would believe it to be Temperance. It might be naive of me to say, but i feel as though you have only one life to live so people should stop being sad, get up and experience life. So what if its not in moderation? Temperance is important but you are only young once, and at some point you have to decide if its worth holding back.

6.On what occasion do you lie?

I lie on more than one occasion, but at least I'm being honest now. I lie most to my parents. at least twice a week about what I'm doing or where I've been. I will never however, lie to someone out of spite. If and when I lie, it is to protect them or myself from being hurt by what they shouldn't or wouldn't want to know.

7.What do you dislike most about your appearance?

What I dislike most about my appearance is my hair. I'm only happy with it right after a trained hair stylist has had their hands on it. I can never seem to get it exactly how I'd like it. No matter how many hair products and straighteners i use on it, it wont last in a style i try. Ive dyed it over and over, that ive forgotten my true hair color. All i know is, it is some kind of brown.

8.What is the quality you most like in a woman? Man?

In Men and Women there is one quality I appreciate the most would have to be kindness. Its as inspiring as it is pure and attractive.

9.Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

Probably the most common answer. For teenage girls at least. I say "like" to often. I also say "word" to much because one of my friends I spent a summer with used it every other sentence. Another one is "swag" which people have been saying a lot of lately.

10.When and where were you happiest?

This one took me a little while to think about. For some reason the answer that keeps replaying in my head makes me feel narcissistic, because my answer wasn't a time with a family member or even a close friend. It was when i first fell in love. I'm young and at the time I knew it was wrong but i was just so damn happy. I was old enough to know better but young enough not to care at all...But i like to think that happens to all of us when we fall in love. Actually im pretty sure its been studied and when you're in love, there's this sort of chemical reaction going on that doesn't allow you to think straight and it produces a shit load of endorphins that make you cry a lot and feel like every song on the radio is about you and him, or that your heart is coming out of your throat and is stopping you from saying the right things. When I was just happy to be in his arms and just knew how much I loved him, how in love i was, i just didn't care and in that moment I was completely happy.

11. Which talent would you most like to have?

The talent i had wanted ever since i was little and had to sit through recitals at Eastman with my grandparents for was, piano playing. Its my favorite instrument and my appreciation level for it is high enough that I respect a person with this talent more than most.

12.If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

If i could change one thing about myself it would have to be my inability to follow through with tasks and projects. I'm a smart girl (not to be confused with self centered here) and I'm talented as well. But a flaw of mine is that with all of this, I cant commit to almost anything or bring myself to my fullest potential. And honestly, it doesn't bother me so much. I like to believe there is more to life than getting caught up in perfection as nice as it is and as much as a little commitment on my part wouldn't hurt.

13. What do you consider your greatest achievement?

I would say my greatest achievement isn't something i won a prize for. Or something I received an A plus on. It's the lessons on life Ive learned so quickly. The fact that I have the courage to stick up for whats right impresses myself all the time.

14.What is your most treasured possession?

My pablo Neruda book of poetry or my great aunt's amethyst ring.

15. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

feeling as though no matter what you do or say, its like you aren't being heard or seen. That you're not even there so that nothing you do will change the situation or fix the problem you are dealing with.

16. loyalty, love and the ability to use laughter as medicine.

17. Audrey Hepburn

18. Beatrix kiddo or "the bride" in kill bill by Quentin torrentino.

19. ignorance.

20. Falling asleep into the perfect dream not worrying about stupid things like doing shopping, paying a bill, remembering there is hot water on the stove or to sweep the porch. Dreaming about my loved ones perhaps.